One of the questions that continuously plagues us at Go Back to Ohio is simply “Why?”. Ohioans speak very highly of their origins and have no trouble defending their state and deriding the Lowcountry. Yet, still, they come, and they come in a torrential deluge. One of the reasons this site exists is to help gather all the theories behind the inundation so that we can better understand it. Below are enumerated the most popular theories; contribute your own and we’ll add it to the list.

• Ohioans get cold in the winter and decide to move to Florida. On the way down, they stop in Charleston and decide that it’s not worth the hassle to keep moving on. Note: other versions of this story include elderly couples on their way to Florida who simply decide that they can’t make the rest of the trip.
• Ohioans are invading in a planned attempt to destroy the southern way of life (this reason would require organizational skills that boggle the imagination and is highly unlikely; however, it is a popular idea).
• Ohioans actually all really hate their state, and everyone is fleeing Ohio in all directions. This would mean that most states are seeing an influx of Ohioans. This would also mean that most Ohioans are liars.
• Much like birds, Ohioans flock to “mating grounds” in search of the perfect mate. Due to the high number of desirable mates in South Carolina (and, more specifically, Charleston), males and females migrate here.The female Ohioan is attracted to the ruggedly handsome and charming (and much more polite) Southern man and the male Ohioan is attracted to the highly refined beauty yet tom-boy “let’s go camping” qualities of the Southern woman.Naturally, the Southern male and female do not respond to the Ohio mating call “Buckeyes rule” or “In Ohio, we …”. So, as the pool of available Southern mates turns them down, they discover the one mating call that gets them a mate in South Carolina: “I’m a local.”Of course this call only works on other migrating Ohioans and both usually end up as mates since they are now “locals” of South Carolina.

  Like the frogs in Australia, all attempts to erradicate [sic] the Ohio species from South Carolina have failed. If steps aren’t taken soon, the Ohioans will soon take over the entire state and we will no longer hear the beautiful mating call of the South Carolina male “Where y’all from?” and the responsive South Carolina female calling back “Charleston.” — from Cakolaki Biologist

• Ohio has chlamydia. That’s what I heard at least. Just sayin’. — from St. Valentine